Reflections of a Faceless Girl
by Anon Fishy-chan
Summary: A story about Mizki's first year as a Vocaloid, and how she deals with the one thing that makes her different from all the others. Oneshot


_Disclaimer: The Vocaloids belong to their respective companies (Crypton Industries, Internet Co., AH-software, Avex Management co., Bplats, and Ki/oon records), and Yamaha. Not me._

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><p><strong>Reflections of a Faceless Girl<strong>

September 1st, 2010, was the day VY1 was born. It was the day she learned she was a Vocaloid, and the day she learned she was different from all the other Vocaloids.

Her creators told her that she was supposed to not have a face. And that she wasn't even a "she". However, VY1 did not like the feeling of not have an identity. It was a feeling that made her feel like "she" didn't belong. It made "her" nervous and jittery and upset all at once.

So, as VY1 stepped into the Vocaloid mansion, the first thing "she" did was tell the other Vocaloids to always consider her a "she", and that they should always call her "Mizki". At first, there was only a bit of grumbling about how her name sounds to similar to three other Vocaloids; Meiko, Miku, and Miki. But then, Yuki, the youngest child in the mansion, asked her "Mizki, why are you wearing a veil?" Mizki had a sinking feeling someone would ask her that question.

"You see, dear," she told the little girl, faking calmness, "I don't have a face."

All the Vocaloids were shocked. They hadn't even expected her to arrive, especially since her release was so soon after Lily's. When she revealed she didn't have a face, they were especially shocked. Virtually every single Vocaloid, UTAU, and fanmade had some sort of avatar.

For the first few days, everyone was quite wary of her. Eventually the other Vocaloids got used to her presence, but only as the "Faceless Girl", and they didn't know her as anything else. And so, Mizki kind of faded into the background. She spent most of the time in her room, watching soap operas and other shows in order to immerse herself in a world of fantasy, so she could just forget that she was literally nobody, a voice and nothing more. And when she wasn't there, she would quietly observe everyone, and write down what she noticed. As she observed their relationships, habits, likes and dislikes, she hoped that maybe, through all their personality traits, she could find some for herself. And on very rare occasions, Mizki was invited to record songs, as that's what Vocaloids do. She was pretty sure that no one listened to them.

But Mizki never, ever left the room without her veil. If she wasn't wearing her veil in her room, she always made sure to never look in the mirror, afraid of what she would find there, or maybe of what she _wouldn't_ find there.

Although Gumi, the scientist of the house, had made her a proper robotic body, she insisted on not making her a face. "I cannot disobey what your creators said, Mizki," Gumi explained, "For I am trying to be a more ethical scientist."

Things continued like this for quite a while, with her silently watching people and dramas interchangeably, until one day a young boy came to into Mizki's room. She noted that the young boy was "Gachapoid", the human-dinosaur shape shifter of the house, unpopular for his squeaky, unrealistic sounding voice. He claimed that he had heard her crying. Although sometimes Mizki cried because she didn't have a face or a true "identity" like the other Vocaloids, that day, she didn't know that she was crying. Mizki was sure that she was watching a soap opera, so she concluded that she must've been so moved by the plotline that she unknowingly started to cry.

And so, Mizki invited the boy to tea, and spent the whole time explaining to him her observations, and the charts he made. Although he seemed disturbed, at least he was listening to her, which no one had ever done, and so she was happy. For a long time, she was quite content with just (the possibly sometimes unwilling) Gachapoid listening to her.

But when the leaves finished falling off the trees, and snow started to fall on the ground, she realized that she was developing feelings for one of the Vocaloids; an effeminate, purple-haired man named Kamui Gakupo to be specific. Something about his introversion, fondness of tea, literature, and hairpins, and his politeness appealed to her. However, she had concluded from her observations that he loved someone else. Maybe it was the beautiful Megurine Luka, with her flowing rose hair and blue eyes. Or maybe he didn't love Luka, but the energetic, friendly Shion Kaito. Whoever he loved, it was certainly not her.

Soon, Mizki wasn't even sure if she was a "she" anymore. "She" could just as easily be a "he". If Gakupo didn't like "her" as a "she", he would like "her" as a "he". Though Mizki avoided thinking about that too hard, as her gender was the only shred of identity she felt she had besides her voice.

She never told Gachapoid about this though, for to him, she was nothing more than the faceless girl, a strange, silent observer of the people around her. But Mizki noticed something strange about him. He was not quite as cheerful as other young children she had seen, like Kaai Yuki and Nekomura Iroha, and instead, he almost always had a straight face. One day, out of curiosity, she asked him why. There was a long silence. Then, Gachapoid said "Mizki… why aren't you saying anything? You always ramble to me about things. It's unusual for you to be silent." Mizki found it odd that he didn't consider her silent.

She didn't point that out, though, and instead, repeated her question: "Gachapoid, why aren't you as cheerful as the other children?"

There was another silence, but finally, he answered: "When one lives in such a bizarre world, where strange things are the ordinary, they cannot laugh at the bizarre anymore."

"That's an interesting answer," Mizki replied quietly. Mizki knew there must've been more to it, but, out of respect for Gachapoid, let him leave his answer at that.

Gachapoid still regularly came to tea with her, so Mizki concluded that he was not upset (or at least visibly so) by her question. Eventually, winter turned to spring, and the flowers started to bloom. A new Vocaloid came to the house. Sure, there were new Vocaloids quite often, these days, but he (everyone considered him a "he") was special. Yuma, as that was his name, was special because he was Mizki's brother, and like her, he didn't have a face. But unlike her, he was not as uncomfortable with the void, and while he walked around wearing a mask, it seemed to her that he, despite only being a voice, had carved an identity for himself. Yuma was a self-declared germaphobe, who liked playing Taiko drums and canoeing, but yet always insisted on putting sanitizer on his hands every five minutes.

Not much happened to her in the summer, except for the fact that she slowly, but grudgingly, came to accept the fact that Gakupo did not love her, and never will.

September 1st rolled around again soon enough. The other Vocaloids had decided to celebrate Mizki's first birthday by throwing a pajama party, and watching dramas all night. So maybe they knew her better than she thought.

Just as the party ended, Yuma announced that he had a surprised for Mizki. He put in a mirror in front of her and ripped off her veil. He was exposing her to her worst fear. Mizki covered the spot where her face should be. She noticed it felt a bit _different_, but she paid no mind to that.

"Sister," Yuma said gently as he put sanitizer on his hands, "you can stop covering your face."

"But I don't have one," she mumbled.

"Yes, you do. You see, unlike the many of the other Vocaloids, who had their faces designed for them before they were released, your face was imagined by your fans."

Mizki had no idea that she had fans.

"So, as the fans imagined what you look like," he continued "slowly, bit by bit, you developed a face. I'm going through that phase now, and Leon and Lola went through it, too."

Leon and Lola knew about the whole "faceless thing"? Why didn't they tell her anything? They probably thought she already knew.

"Don't be afraid, Mizki…"

Mizki lifted her hands off her face, and looked up at the other Vocaloids. They had the same expressions on their faces as they did a year ago, when they first learned she didn't have a face.

Then she looked in the mirror. And overwhelming feeling of happiness came over her. At that moment, Mizki didn't care what her face looked like. The only thing that mattered to her was that she had one.

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><p><em>(AN: Happy belated birthday, Mizki! This is sort of a companion fic to my Gachapoid-centric fic, "Anomalies". I wrote this to celebrate Mizki's birthday, and to give more depth to my interpretation of her character. Those of you who read "Anomalies" are probably wondering why Gacha didn't mention that Mizki revealed her face in his journal. Remember, my dear readers, that Gumi was yelling at him to watch a certain Youtube video with her. So just assume that he didn't have any time, too, okay? ;) ) _


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